just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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