Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
