You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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