Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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