He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
