I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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