Your face is a jimmy john
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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