If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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