Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
