I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
