do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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