Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
