Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
