Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
