Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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