so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
