dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
