she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Operation Purity has been aborted
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
