On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize