is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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