Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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