Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your penis caused this!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
