Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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