Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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