on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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