1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
