Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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