some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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