Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
