yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You did what with his pubic hair?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
