Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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