I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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