i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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