You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
