If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
