I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize