So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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