That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
