it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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