I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize