oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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