Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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