I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude. I can hear the air.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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