I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
