physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
