What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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