dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
