weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your cock deserves a montage
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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