Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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