I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Shame is for Republicans.
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