I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
