Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
