I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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