She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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