Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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