what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
