This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize