You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
