Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
