i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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