We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
