found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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