sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
