You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize