i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
