Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
