I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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