i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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