I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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