Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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