Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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