i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
