Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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