she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
