No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
