Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
