She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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