Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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